Not too long ago, I shared with you how Gary Chapman’s the Five Love Languages is the best resource for marriage and family therapists.
Reading his book taught me a lot about the importance of showing my love and appreciation for others in their love language.
Knowing how to show love to others with their love language is important and since February is the month of love, I want to help you out.
I want to share with you a few ways that you can show love to others using their love language. Give some of these things a try and see if they do not make a difference in your relationship.
How to Show Love to Others Using Their Love Language
If Their Love Language is “Words of Affirmation”
Verbalize your Appreciation
If you know someone who’s love language is words of affirmation (my own love language) then take some time to compliment them. Point out positive things that you love about them.
Write Them a Note
Handwritten notes are one of my favorite things. Anyone who knows me says that I “write a book” when I sign cards. This is because it’s important to me to convey my appreciation through words of affirmation.
Take some time to write your loved one a note telling them how much you appreciate them. Share with them all of the things you love about them.
Write a Song for Them
Imagine serenading the love of your life with a ballad that you took the time to write. Maybe you’re not musically inclined, that’s o.k.! Write a song for your loved one and sing it for them. It is the thought that counts.
If you want to make the song extra special, get a few musician friends to join you and add the song to a CD so that your loved one will have a beautiful keepsake.
Write a Poem About Them
Take a moment to get your creative juices flowing and write a poem about your loved one. Be sure to mention why you love them. A few lines of a poem is sure to brighten their day and it can be something that they will cherish for a lifetime.
If Their Love Language is “Quality Time”
According to Dr. Chapman, the essential ingredients in a quality activity are:
- at least one of you wants to do it.
- the other is willing to do it.
- both of you know why you are doing it-to express love by being together.
Basically, you can do anything you want to with your spouse as a way of spending quality time with them. That being said, if you are short on ideas here are a few to get you started.
- Make them dinner and then, sit down to the table to eat with them without having your cell phone present as well.
- Go out on a picnic to enjoy the warm summer day. If you’re lucky enough to live near a nature park like me, maybe have a picnic and then take a leisurely stroll through the park and enjoy the view while communicating with your loved one.
- Take time to put in a garden together so you can “watch love grow”. What better way to spend quality time with your loved one then to invest in something bigger then yourselves?
- Visit a local flea market. I don’t know about you but I love a good bargain (I’m sure most people do). Check out a local flea market. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a “diamond in the rough” that the two of you can “flip”.
If Their Love Language is “Receiving Gifts”
Gift Giving is one of the easiest love languages to learn.
Dr. Gary Chapman “The Five Love Languages”
Give a gift from Nature
When talking about the love language of quality time, one of the ideas was to go on a picnic. If you do that, you can look for a rock, a stick, a stone, a flower to give to your loved one.
The gift you give doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to mean something.
Give Your Loved One a Handmade Gift
Maybe you are good at knitting, making jewelry, painting, or woodworking. Use your creative abilities to make a special gift for your spouse.
Give Your Loved One the Gift of Your Presence
Go with your spouse to hear their favorite band, volunteer to take them to the new restaurant they’ve been dying to try. Commit to setting aside time just to spend time with them doing things that they enjoy doing.
How to Show Love to Others If Their Love Language is “Acts of Service”
When Jesus walked the earth, he showed his love for others through acts of service all of the time.
For many, “acts of service” are their primary love language. As Christians, we are called to serve others daily but when our loved one has the love language of “acts of service”, we need to go above and beyond to make serving them something special.
Here are just a few acts of services you can use to show your loved one how much you care.
Give them a Coupon
Give your loved one a coupon for one chore of their choice to be completed by you. Make sure that you create it so that this coupon can be redeemed at any time.
Wash Their Car
I had to put this in there because I DESPISE washing my car! I would rather do a thousand other things than to take time to wash my car. What better act of service than to gift your loved one with a clean, neat, car?
Cook Them Dinner
We all have to eat. Why not cook your loved one a nice dinner and then enjoy the meal with them.
If you do not have the time to do extra things for you loved one, Dr. Chapman recommends you hire someone to do some of the things you know could be done as your “act of service”.
As a full-time therapist who is currently undergoing supervision and a part-time blogger, I love the idea of hiring someone as an act of service to my loved one.
How to Show Love to Others if Their Love Language is “Physical Touch”
Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.
Dr. Chapman “The Five Love Languages”
As a single woman who is wanting to save sex and even her first kiss for her wedding day, physical touch is hard for me.
I always felt as though the less physical touch I initiated with those of the opposite sex the better as it would decrease temptation for my partner.
That being said, dating someone who’s primary love language was “physical touch” was very difficult but after some communication and a whole lot of prayer, I learned that some physical touch even when just dating is o.k.
Here are a few ideas for how to show love to those whose love language is physical touch:
Hold Their Hand
If you’re walking along the street or you are in a store together, hold their hand. If they are driving, reach out and touch their elbow (a few small ways I learned to initiate physical touch).
Gently Touch Them
One nice way that you can initiate physical contact with your loved one is to gently brush up against them. Eating a meal together? Let your foot brush up against their leg. Watching television together? sit a little closer.
PRO TIP
When it comes to physical touch, make sure to respect your loved one’s boundaries. If your loved one tells you to stop, then stop! DON’T ASK QUESTIONS JUST STOP.
If you are dating, make sure that you keep boundaries in place. Like I said, after praying about it I began to feel like some conservative physical contact with my partner was o.k.
Pray about it, and as long as God agrees try some of these small things to make your partner feel loved. Just make sure that no matter what you are doing, you are honoring God with your body and respecting your partner too.
Conclusion
I talked about why loving other is important recently. Not only is loving other’s important, but showing love to others using their love language is important.
Showing love to other’s in their love language is one of the best things you can do to strengthen your relationship with that individual. If you haven’t already, be sure to grab your copy of Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” so that you can learn more about it.
If you don’t know your love language, take the quiz to find out what it is. If possible, have your loved one take the quiz too so each of you can begin to love each other on a deeper level.
Take this month where we celebrate love and commit to sharing your love with others more.
2 thoughts on “How to Show Love to Others With Their Love Language”